How iconic businesswomen are making the lives of female professionals harder

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>>> and we saw your boobs in " brokeback mountain ." nicole kidman in eyes wide shot, marisa torme and we haven't seen jennifer lawrence 's boobs at all.

>> i know we've come a long way, but, man, sometimes it feels like we still have a long way to go. this week for me has been one of those times and that boob song is the least of my concerns. what's really got me going is the approach that two of the highest profile most successful working moms in the entire country are doing to help a sister out. the two ladies i'm talking about are marisa maier and cheryl sandberg . m mayer made waves by ending workplace flexibility. sandberg has a new book coming uncoura encouraging women to be more aggressive in the workplace. it includes a plan for women to crease their own lean in circles with other women where they will learn her tricks for gaming the status quo and they also invite women to submit their stories to the lean in website as long as those stories have happy endings. no crying over spilt breast milk please. the two women are quite different. mayer doesn't see herself as a working mom role model. while sandberg embraces her iconic working mom status and is seeking to build a social movement to help women advance in the workplace. both fundamentally misunderstand the challenges facing us working moms. overall we earn only 77 cents on the dollar compared to men. some economists estimate that gap is accounted for almost entirely by the mom gap. the penalty in salaries that comes simply by being a mother. researchers at cornell have shown that an equally qualified mother is less likely to be hired, less likely to be promoted, and will be offered a lower salary and judged more harshly for absences than their male and childless counterparts. these mothers aren't leaning back or failing to be ambitious enough. they're penalize the immediately just by having born children. meanwhile, we are torn in two trying to be perfect moms on the one hand and perfect employees on the other and feel ourselves to be failing to meet this impossible bar in ways big and small every day. it's no surprise then that between this double bind and the crappy deal we're getting at work, women are starting to pull back from the workforce. the percentage of stay-at-home moms wanting to work full time is declining and fewer married moms with young children are in the labor force today. with employers like marisa mayer can you really blame them? she demoralizes her employees by saying we don't trust you so we have to see you at your desk with our own eyes. sandberg chides us for not leaning in, giving us a whole new laundry list of areas where we need to improve and adds attending lean-in circles to our to-do list. by the way, i wrote most of this rant from home after putting my daughter to bed before coming back to the studio. so how is that for productive.