The Cycle | February 05, 2013
>> speet refusing to drive to my family's place for two weeks vacation.
>> paula, talk it out before you walk it out.
>> i'm here in new york while he's back there.
>> long distance is the wrong distance, sue. deal breaker .
>> nikki wants to take me camping.
>> deal breaker .
>> i haven't seen my fiancee in seven months.
>> robot warning. okay. that catch phrase needs a little work. deal breaker .
>> teach it like you preach it!
>> while we may not have her anymore to dish out the deal breaker singles advice, singles have a list. based on a new national survey of 5,500 single men and women for match.com some of those might surprise you. notable deal breaker , virgins and those with credit card and student debt but not a problem, living at home with mom and dad nearly half of the singles still cozy up with you in the basement of mom and dad 's house. no matter your living situation, the survey will make you think twice about what you blog about in the future. almost half of ladies do their social homework.
>> oh yeah.
>> before a date and nearly same amount cancel if they find something online they don't like. i don't blame them for deeper understanding of the single life , we have an tlo poll pis angel fisher of rutgers. thank you for being here.
>> i'm delighted.
>> are there big differences in the deal breaker list of men and women ?
>> well, when we asked what you really must have and very important for you to have, men and women very similar. they both basically want somebody that respects them, somebody who they can trust, somebody who they can confide in and makes them laugh and somebody who's physically attractive to them. so they're very similar in that way and rather similar in what they don't want and interesting to me seeming not to want anymore somebody necessarily from their same ethnic background or from the same religious background and that's a real change . i mean, for thousands of years you tended to need to marry somebody from your ethnic and religious background and this is slipping away. singles are looking for self full f fulfillment. they want a connection.
>> is an actual plus for the person to be from a different ethnic or rely you background or just not a factor?
>> i would guess there's great pluses and minuses. we didn't study that in this particular questionnaire. we had over 200 questions. by the way, it was a national representative sample . we didn't sample the match.com population but based on the u.s. national census . we got the right numbers. gay, straights, every rural, suburban, age group , et cetera . when you marry somebody you have complications from a different background. like traditional holidays and so people do still naturally tend to be drawn to somebody from their same ethnic background but they don't say it's a must have. they don't need it anymore. we are turn to individual fulfillment.
>> that's interesting. portends of a new america and you found out that for a lot of people, a deal braemer is being a virgin. 42% would not date a virgin and women especially, 51% of women would not date a virgin. i think i completely understand but you're the guest. so why don't you explain to america why so many people and women in particular are like, no, virgin.
>> i think it's easier to explain why women don't want a virgin. they want a man with experience and why hasn't one girl gotten him in to bed. but i think it's more curious to me that 33% of men do not -- will not date a virgin. and that, you know, that -- once again, 5,000 for 5,000 years, virginity at marriage was a core value in the western tradition , and to have this change so dramatically, it's to me a sea change . it is the one single statistic out of hundreds of thousands of pieces of data on this match.com study that really talks about a sea change in what the you're looking for.
>> i don't know. we want experience, too, doctor.
>> i'm a little unsettled by that. one thing that was pleasantly surprising to me was to hear so many people put grammar as one of their top issues. second only to teeth when they go on a date in terms of judging their date. that's amazing to me. actually a really kind -- a sign of good thing, right? that we still prize good grammar, good spelling?
>> i think that the teeth and the grammar actually come from evolutionary drives. i mean, your teeth say a great deal not only about your health but your youth. the older you get, the more they get chipped, the more they get discolored.
>> and your economic status.
>> exactly. by the way, even other primates, monkeys will be more attracted to a an individual who has very symmetriccle white teeth . i think the grammar talks about your background, your educational level, and, of course, we are living in the age of communication. i mean, you know, now longer have the best job because you were so strong. today you get the best job because you are very skilled at communication and your grammar will play a big role in how well you can communicate, how far you're going to go probably even in the job market .
>> we had to memorize linking verbs back in school. were there some surprising results in terms of attitudes of singles towards marriage?
>> i was really pleased with this data. first of all, when we asked 90% of people who want to get married and the vast majority in their 20s and 30s still do want to wed, they want to get married, 90% of them believe you can remain married to the same person forever, and this has increased since 2011 . we did the same study in 2011 . and it's only about 75% of people believed you could stay married to the same person for foraftfo forever and now it's 90%. when we studied 1,000 married people, over 5,000 singles but also 1,000 married people, this particular study, and 80% of people who are married today in america would remarry the same person again.
>> it is wedlock happiness.
>> dr. helen fisher , thank you so much for joining us.
>> thank you.
>> speaking of single ladies, which i'm sure we did in there somewhere, up next, s.e. takes on beyonce. twitter haters, get those fingers ready. but before you judge, listen up, you may agree with her. i'm pretty sure i do.