Top Lines: Colbert, Obama, the WWE, Scooby Doo, and Herman Cain

>>> from a presidential divot and a senator sand trap to one big republican mulligan. here are today's top lines . it's in the hole.

>> let's begin tonight with america.

>> these cuts are not smart.

>> it's not about the sequester. this is about defining who his enemy is.

>> this is not an abstraction. people will lose their jobs.

>> it will be in some ways a yawn. the histrionics that are coming from the president. is anybody not going to stand up and call his bluff.

>> congress can do the right thing.

>> he's stealing from his kids.

>> if i said that, would i be over the top ?

>> my door is open. i'm willing to work with anybody.

>> it's one thing to keep us in the dark about a fleet of flying robo assassins.

>> why is he popular then.

>> but a round of golf on your day off?

>> an amazing touch. he can chip and putt.

>> did he replace his divots or send susan rice to cover them up?

>> mitt romney has a billion dollars to spend and you're still telling me that the american people were misled? how dumb are we?

>> libya.

>> we are that dumb.

>> you don't need an ar-15.

>> just blast away. what if some boy scouts are lost.

>> buy a shotgun.

>> what is wrong with america?

>> your senator and you're doing nothing about it.

>> i seen people with faces not like mine.

>> you said build a dang fence. where's the fence?

>> where did all these people come from?

>> cut off their welfare and they'll go back.

>> how do we get rid of them?

>> the chinese have hacked my blackberry.

>> let's get out of the way.

>> scoopy dooby do.

>> i should have put the back on first.

>> establishment republicans.

>> now, the republicans, they simply do not know how to speak for themselves.

>> how about christie.

>> no.

>> no go.

>> we may be [ bleep ] but at least god isn't hurling rocks at us.