Martin Bashir   |  October 08, 2012

Top Lines: SNL, Maher, Romney, Obama, Trump and ‘monkey business’

SNL and Bill Maher hammer President Obama’s debate performance; Big Bird talks about his “new-found” fame; ex-GE CEO Jack Welch doubles down on the jobs report conspiracy; Donald Trump talks “monkey business”; and Mitt Romney goes “Friday Night Lights” in Monday’s Top Lines.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> from a smorgasbord of debate comedy to fudges those job numbers, here are today's "top lines," clear eyes, full hearts might lose.

>> you have to hand it to mitt romney . president obama sure did.

>> it's masterful, theatrical performance.

>> my plan is different. it involves six reversals of position and three outright lie approximates.

>> soo person acting job.

>> i can't believe i forgot the anniversary gift. this is bad.

>> governor romney said he killed osama bin laden . would you care to respond?

>> no, you two go ahead. it looks like he took my million and spent it all on weed.

>> where but on pbs can you find abbey.

>> air, soul, thin.

>> you are a badass mother [ bleep ].

>> when are people with pre-existing medical conditions . loser, people with pre-existing medical coops because he's not telling the truth.

>> the brazenness with which he walked away from so many of the positions.

>> they just perform flawlessly night after night . i can't always say the same.

>> i like pbs.

>> just a few days ago i could blend in like every other perfectly normal eight-foot tall talking bird .

>> you're talking about the president of the united states playing with the bureau of labor statistics numbers. this is nixon stuff.

>> i don't want to take back one word in that tweet.

>> i don't believe the number and neither do any of the other people who have intelligence.

>> do you think they change the numbers?

>> i do. there's a lot of monkey business .

>> trump and welch, rich people with crazy conspiracy.

>> clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.

>> we do this every year. pick out our pumpkins.

>> oh, yes.

>> biggest winner, america, is there anything more exciting than joe biden thinking it's up to him to get the lead