In politically divided families, pass on the politics at Thanksgiving dinner

>>> nearly 40 million americans are expected to take to roads this thanksgiving holiday, but the stress doesn't end whuns they've reached their destination. it could be just the beginning, especially coming on the heels of a divisive election. this thanksgiving, instead of just passing the turkey, you might want to pass on the political talk, too. i'm joined by anna post, great-great-granddaughter of emily post and co-author of emily post 's etiquette, 18th edition and johnathan, msnbc contributor. welcome to both of you.

>> hi, chris.

>> a lot of people haven't had a chance to talk act the election results.

>> you think? not enough of it.

>> fireworks and not even the 4th of july .

>> well, yeah. depending on which side of the family is there and who they voted for or didn't vote for and how vocal they are, you know, certainly pro-obama folks at the table will be very prideful, you know, thumping their chests over the victory, and the folk who is voted for mitt romney might be a little quiet at the table, probably not as --

>> or defensive.

>> yeah. very defensive, you know, about 47% or gifts or whatever things mitt romney may have said.

>> so i guess my question is, anna , do you just have to declare a truce and say this is off limits? what do you do for family harmony and for digestive purposes?

>> normally i think there's a way to talk about any issue that's interesting as long as you keep the boundaries down. at thanksgiving dinner so close to the election, this might be too hard to do. might be easier to pass on this one. have a couple of outs, you know, an exit strategy .

>> i thought you were going to say have a couple of drinks.

>> i was going to say that will make it worse. uncle steve at the table. sorry.

>> no. exactly. if you get cornered by somebody, have an exit strategy , have a question before hand ready to go to kind of redirect conversation because frankly we've all already voted. you're not going to change anybody's mind.

>> has it gotten worse in recent years, jonathan, in part because of people like you who write columns that get us all worked up?

>> yes.

>> yes. it's my fault.

>> it's my fault. it's our fault. but also because there's so much information out there, so many people have things to say on twitter, on facebook, on blogs and newspapers. magazines.

>> a little information can be a dangerous thing for the holiday around the table.

>> especially information that you don't know whether it's true or not nap's the other thing.

>> you've been reading too many blogs. what are the rules for etiquette for surviving a family meal, especially at thanksgiving when the whole idea is to say aren't we all glad to be sitting around the same table and sharing our time together?

>> keep the focus there. but if it does come up, you know, don't get too judgmental in comments. you know, i can't believe you voted for that person or i can't believe you think that. those are very judgmental things. stick to facts instead. we all know there's a lot of them out there, but they can sometimes be a little bit more neutral. and lastly, you know, if you do get cornered, i think we'll just have to agree to disagree, who wants some apple pie .

>> the second one was don't assume you know how people voted. you know?

>> yes. this has been -- a lot of times, you know, you're at the dinner table and some blues and reds in the room, you don't know where everybody might have landed so don't make comments assuming everybody agrees with you. if you have a table full of blue with one red or vice versa , don't leave them out in the cold.

>> so i have to ask the inevitable question. do we all think we're going to be sitting at mixed color dinner tables tomorrow?

>> i won't. i know that for a fact.

>> blue all the way.

>> oh, yeah.

>> i think we have some nice diversity at my table that we'll be seeing.

>> anna post, thank you for coming in. great to see you. always good to see you, jonathan, who fought through traffic from washington, d.c., to be here.

>> just to be here.

>> today's "tweet of the day" puts black friday into perspective. jack writes because only in america people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have. so what are you thankful for this year? join the nbc thanksgiving social initiative #whyimthankful. tweet us using the hashtag and we may read your comments on